Becoming Numb to the Sociopath and Opening the Door to Survival

What confuses me is the other woman he’s with 2 months after me( he was seeing other people and ordering up hookers) he’s 41 and she is 24. Very pretty has a 2 year old he has 3 kids that don’t live with him. She has no job, hardly any education, no car, no money, and verbally and physically abuses my ex ha ha. His friend stooped by and told me this because my ex was telling him that he missed me and regretted leaving me. I have a business I’m 42 finacially stable and my own place. Sociopaths are all about whats in it for them Paula why is he taking care of this woman? I’m really confused cause my ex says he a millionaire and only associated with successful people, his false self is retired navy seal( not true of course) what he getting out of this? Oh and they’ve both moved in with his 60 year old friend cause they got evicted! Can you shed some light. He has never tried to contact me cause I called him out on his lies.

Love. Life. OM. Blog

Sociopaths repeatedly and effortlessly find loving and caring people.

Why and how do they do it?

First, Sociopaths need good people to camouflage their shittiness from the world. The more loving, giving, religious, charitable and/or respected their significant other, the more likely the sociopath will succeed in gaining his own reputation for being the same type of good person his significant other spent years establishing.

(Remember, sociopaths are the biggest and most successful cheaters on the planet! They can do it remorselessly and believe they deserve it and earned it honorably.)

Plus, the more people the sociopath’s significant other has surrounding her, the more protected the sociopath feels.

The delusional sociopath automatically considers his significant other’s friends his friends and will use them to cowardly hide behind while getting away with his insidious abuses.

(Think of churches, clubs, community service groups and even yoga studios and gyms where people come…

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My fifteen months with a sociopath!

I met his daughter,stepmother,and father on Memorial Day about 6 weeks into dating. They had a nice house with a inground pool and we were going to cook out. I didn’t get to spend a lot of time with his daughter that day for she was busy swimming and playing. They were very welcoming and Jay was very attentive. Thy talked about the busy paving season coming up and all the jobs they had they were going to be working long hours and I should come visit whenever I wanted. I got to talk to the stepmother a little and she told me that I was the only girl Jay had ever brought to meet them since his wife which gelled with what Jay had told me. I told her I was crazy about him and I was so glad to meet them. In the following weeks I visited jobsites that Jay was on, started looking at half a million dollar houses with him and awaiting the BMW that was due to arrive at 8 to 12 weeks. Jay wanted us to take his daughter to the movies one weekend and I still hadn’t seen his rented house and I kept asking him if we could go there and there always seemed to be some excuse. In the beginning he would pick me up and he would stay at my apartment till 2 or 3 in the morning and then he would leave to get his daughter off to school in the morning go to work go home check on her and then come see me at 8 or 830 at night but this started happening less and less. so one day I took his daughter to my shop and was giving her a pedicure when I asked her how it was having her grandmother stay with her all the time and she said grandma doesn’t stay Dad and I live with her. I remember going to my friend next door and telling her Jay lied to me he lives with his mother and she calmly looked at me and said yeah I had that feeling maybe he was too embarrassed to tell u he lives with his mom he is looking for a house isn’t he? When I confronted him he told me the same thing and he was too embarrassed to tell me. I let that go why? I ask myself a lie is a lie why didn’t I back off look at this differently. i’m going to answer my own question I didn’t want to end it I wanted him even knowing he had lied and told myself it wasn’t that big of a lie. that was the first of many that I would catch him in and would make excuses for! Does a sociopath really con us or do we con ourselves?

My fifteen months with a sociopath!

Over the next month we went on 17 dates I met his father and his girlfriend his stepbrother and his 8 year old daughter. He was spending a lot of time with me and I asked him how his mother felt having his daughter all the time he was with me. He told me that his mother used to be a nurse and when he was injured and his wife left she came to take care of them and become like the 2 girls mother and he was so excited about me and she was happty that he had met someone great and she didn’t mind having his daughter so much it kept her occupied. I asked if she drove over every night and he said she lived down the street from the house he was renting and she hated living alone and spent all her time at his house anyways. He was going to start looking for a bigger house soon so they would all be together. I find out at about 3 months together that this another lie!

My fifteen months with a sociopath!

Writing this down is so hard but I know that hopefully as I go on maybe I will feel that getting this all out and telling my story will bring me closure see what was truly happening and help anyone who happens to read this.

My fifteen months with a sociopath!

So we decide to meet at my salon( I still didn’t want him to see where I lived I had met him online) he met me at noon and asked what I wanted to do so I said I wanted to drive 45 minutes t o the outlets I needed sneakers or we could walk the park or drive to the lake. He said he wanted to do outlets he hadn’t been back there since he was a kid and the sun was out it would be a nice drive. We talked and talked about how his wife left because he couldn’t walk and she didn’t want to take care of an injured man. He asked how long I was married and I told him I didn’t want to answer he laughed and I said to him when men hear how long I was married they think oh oh she wants a relationship. I was with my husband since I was fifteen he smiled and said that’s awesome who wouldn’t want a woman that knew what commitment meant and how it was the same for him that he met his wife at 15 and would have still been married if she hadn’t left him and how that was what he wanted in the future to be married. We did everything I had mentioned earlier lunch and dinner we spend the whole day together and before he dropped me off he said he was taking his profile down cause he didn’t want to meet any one else. I really didn’t reply but I knew I was going to take mine down. Over the next few weeks and later on I would question his online behavior. Again no move from Jay to hug or kiss me so I kissed him our first kiss and he was very good at it and this would start a lot of me being the initiator.

My fifteen months with a sociopath!

Like I said this time it was different he was early waited for me outside looked and smelled wonderful but more quiet asked questions and really listened. We had over an hour wait so we sat at the bar Jay said he didn’t drink but he got a corona and I a glass of wine and we started talking about the dating site we met on and how he hadn’t had much luck either and how woman think men can be nasty on those sites women can be too. His stories about that were funny and amusing and we agreed that it was nice to be on a normal date! This is when he told me that he was in a bad accident 5 years ago and was hit by a drunk driver while paving on a bridge running his own company and fell 40 feet and broke every bone in his body. My God I thought he looks great he pulled himself together survived it and went on to say that if it hadn’t been for his navy seal backround and the great physical shape he was in he would of died! Writing this I’m sorry but I wish he would have. Being in the Navy would come up a lot in our fifteen months together. Because of this accident and the 2 years it took to recover his marriage falling apart and the fifteen year and the five year old that he had to raise on his own left no time for dating or a relationship he said he was divorced for 3 years. I had such a good time talking to him I felt so comfortable my divorce had finalized 8 months earlier and I was happy to be meeting someone nice and calm and charming! Two hours later we were back at the cars and he was asking me what I was doing tomorrow that he wanted to see me again and I know I should have waited again but I had the day off and I really wanted to spent more time with him so I said yes. Again he was going to the gym he liked to work out at night and always had trouble sleeping back from his military days and he would text if that was alright when he got out. No hug no kiss no move to touch me very much a gentleman so I went home excited that he would.

My fifteen months with a sociopath.

He asked me questions like any man would on a first date. he was charming and polite. When the check came he took out his money clip pulled out a card and gave it to the waitress in a short few minutes she came back and said it was declined. He never flinched or seemed embarrassed just gave her cash and set the magnet was bad and needed to get a new card. I understood I really didn’t think anything about it it happened to my clients all the time weather their card was sitting next to their cellphone or against other cards the magnet would be sensitive and he did have a lot of cash on him. So we walked out to the cars he was driving a Nisson Altima nothing flashy. He asked me out for the following night and I told him I couldn’t that I would be working late until Saturday afternoon which was 4 days away. He said really I really want to see you before then and I told him I really couldnt so Saturday it was and he was off to the gym and if he could text me when he got out I said she but I might be asleep buy yeah. He made no move to hug me or kids more so I left. I called my mom told her the date was okay I was going out with him again that he was nice just that he bragged a lot and seemed to be trying to impress me But I would see on saturday. Ten minutes later I got a text asking if I was sure I couldn’t get together sooner and that he had a great time. I was flattered and in the next few days till I saw him again he texted me all day long ate night too always telling me about his day his interviews how exciting that paving was going to start couldn’t wait to see me and this one text he send was a little strange but flattering he said just give me a chance. I remember telling him don’t be silly that I was seeing him in a few days that I was looking forward to it and I wouldn’t have accepted if I didn’t want to see him. The second date it was a different side of Jay quiet interested in me asking more questions now I know from this site that I now had become his mark!

My fifteen months with a sociopath!

I met my sociopath online like some people on here. We only communicated a couple of days via the internet because and this is funny Jay said people don’t always look and say who they truly are and we should meet right away. Wow I thought refreshing my time on the Internet was just that mostly dirty pictures texting buddies no one really wanting to meet. He suggested coffee which I really don’t drink so I said dinner he agreed. When I look back now Jay never asked me for anything not in the beginning not even my number on the day we were supposed to meet I had to get online and give him my number in case one of us couldn’t make it. He was so sweet he said he didn’t ask for my number because he didn’t want to seem pushy or scare me off. He was almost 30 minutes early for our date (that only happened the first couple off dates from then on out he was always 45 mins to an hour late) so he texted and told me he would save me a parking spot so sweet. He had warned me not to be put off but people always got nervous cause he looked like a cop, in his profile it said he was an ex navy seal that my friends was the first big lie of many. God he look like a cop trim athletic looking shaved his hair tan olive skin nice smile smelled great (I’ll be referring to his smell a lot through this I can still smell him even though he’s been gone 4 months. We walked into the restaurant and there was a thirty minute wait and Jay had no problem filling in that 30 minutes. He had a crazy day taking over his fathers paving business was taking up a lot of time they were interviewing a lot paving would be starting in May and they needed people quick. Lots of money he said to be made and he had just enough time that day to custom order his new BMW that he always wanted and he was so excited that’s why he was early it didn’t take as long as he thought it would 20,000 down done deal lie number 2, we sit down and order and he’s telling me of the bussinesses he owns in Arizona how he has a daughter still there an ex wife and a 8 year old daughter with him. Just busy busy trying ti establish himself back in his hometown. I remember not saying a lot but thinking this guy is trying to impress or bragging a lot I owned my own hair salon which  he knew from our little communication we had on the Internet. When I told him over dinner that my daughter had moved to Arizona 6 months prior we were both like what are the chances and how he was going to hook her up with so much things to do and places to see. Then he tells me that he wants to tell me that his father is in trouble the IRS for gambling debts just in case  I googled his name and they have the same name and he didn’t want more to think it was him And that was one of reasons he left Arizona to help hid